


The Biggest War is the Waiting

by imawalkingtravesty



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Bruce Banner Is a Good Bro, Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Depressed Tony Stark, Everyone is Dead, Gen, Genius Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Insomniac Tony Stark, James "Rhodey" Rhodes is a Good Bro, Kid Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe) Needs a Hug, Morgan Stark-centric (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Nightmares, Not A Fix-It, Parent Pepper Potts, Parent Tony Stark, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Precious Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Tony Stark Angst, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark is Good With Kids, mentions of peter parker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-02
Updated: 2019-11-02
Packaged: 2021-01-20 19:48:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21287207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imawalkingtravesty/pseuds/imawalkingtravesty
Summary: “Are you okay?” Morgan asked carefully. She looked up at his face, with his blotchy eyes and nose, and wondered how he was going to lie his way out of this one.“I’m just tired. I think I’m going to try this sleeping business that you speak of,” Tony stood up, ready to leave. “Goodnight, Morgana.”In which Tony Stark is a mess during the five years after the events of Infinity War, and his four-year-old daughter is noticing.
Relationships: Bruce Banner & Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark, Pepper Potts & James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe) & Tony Stark, Pepper Potts & Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe) & Tony Stark, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Tony Stark & Avengers Team
Comments: 24
Kudos: 90
Collections: Tony Stark Angst





	The Biggest War is the Waiting

**Author's Note:**

> Endgame spoilers? Is that still a thing?  
This is basically what happened in the five years after IW (more centred around four-year-old Morgan Stark). Canonical deaths. Sad Tony Stark. I miss him.

Morgan Stark has never met Spider-Man, but Lord, did she want to.

Her dad would tell her bedtime stories about the web-slinger, who was always fighting the bad guys who want to take away all of the toy stores in America, making sure people are safe by looking both ways whenever they cross the street, and helping old grandmothers like her mom with directions. Morgan was a bit skeptical about her mom being an old grandmother, but it added to the humour of the story, so it was alright. She questioned it with a laugh, but her dad just smiled and told her it was true.

“Are you sure that Spider-Man is real?” Morgan asked.

“Of course. I’ve met the guy!” Tony exclaimed, taking fake-offense. “You don’t believe me?”

“He’s too good,” she replied.

Tony bit his lip, his expression going from happy to tinged with sadness, but the caring eyes never wavered. “Yeah. Yeah, he was.”

“How did it end?”

“How did Spider-Man’s story end?” Tony asked, rhetorically, his eyebrows raising. “That’s a tomorrow question.”

“Nooo, I wanna know!” Morgan complained, falling back on her pillows dejectedly. “You always say that.”

“That’s because Spider-Man’s story is way too long for just one bedtime,” he tucked the blankets up to her chin. “Now be patient. You’re turning out too much like me.”

“Tomorrow?”

“The Amazing Spider-Man chronicles will return tomorrow, at the expense of a tired dad,” Tony grinned and flicked off the light. “Goodnight, Morgana.”

But Spider-Man’s story never ended. It’s been a full year, and Morgan’s dad just continued the story. There was the story with the ferry, and how Spider-Man was just trying to do some good but ended up angering Iron Man. Same with the Vulture, who was stealing kids’ toys out of their hands and selling them for profit. Then the Vulture tried to steal an entire plane full of toys right out of the sky, but Spider-Man stopped him! Because that was what he did. Protect the kids. And the old grandmas, such as her mom.

Morgan was sitting at the top of the stairs, one night, after a bedtime story which included her dad leaving before the story arc was even over, because he was “tired”. Morgan may have only been four, but she wasn’t stupid; she could see his eyes going red and watery and his nose getting pink and she could hear how his voice cracked. 

“I think you should try the pills again. Therapy. You’re getting worse,” Pepper said, her disembodied voice floating from the kitchen.

“I’m not getting worse. I’m doing great. I should let you know that I looked at the photo of me and Peter today without crying,” Tony said, determinedly. 

“Yeah, and then you come downstairs crying over a bedtime story. I don’t know why you do this to yourself, if it’s upsetting you, then stop!”

“I owe it to Morgan.”

“She’s four. You don’t have to finish it, Tony.”

“But- I want-” her dad said, getting choked up. 

“Tony-”

“How are not tired of me, Pep?” her dad asked in a voice that was not his.

Morgan climbed back into bed, and tried to forget the conversation. 

\--

“Daddy, what’s a therapy?”

“What’s a what, sorry honey?” Tony sputtered, splashing the coffee in his mug and getting a bit of it on his skin. “Ow.”

“Therapy.”

“Why do you ask?” he asked, putting the mug down and wiping the burning coffee off of his hand quickly with his shirt sleeve. 

“I heard it.”

“It’s a grandma term. I don’t know if you’re old enough, sweetheart,” Tony avoided giving the answer. He picked up his mug and tried drinking from it again.

“You told me I’m smarter than mommy,” Morgan argued. “What’s a therapy?”

Tony sighed, putting the mug down on the counter. Morgan gave him puppy-dog eyes from her spot on the couch, and he gave her a stern look, but she didn’t relent. 

“Fine. It’s when you talk to people when you’re not feeling well,” he gave up, looking down at his mug like it was the reason Morgan was asking the question. 

“So when I have a cold I can have a therapy?”

“Sort of, but it’s like, a brain-cold. It only happens in your mind,” he pointed at his temple, smiling at her but there was something else behind his eyes that Morgan didn’t know. She knew what sad looked like, what angry looked like, what happy looked like, and what tired looked like, but this was none of those four emotions.

“Do you have a brain-cold? Mommy said that you should have a therapy,” Morgan said. 

Tony immediately froze, his eyes going comically wide. Morgan could see the muscles in his jaw working, as if he was going to say something, but it got aborted before it left his mouth. Then, as quickly as it had happened, he composed himself and met her eyes with a passive face.

“Sometimes it’s rude to tell people that they need therapy, alright, kiddo? Don't go around saying that,” Tony said, turning quickly and hiding his face by getting juice pops from the freezer.

“But mummy said it!” Morgan protested.

“Sometimes your mom is rude. She was very rude, back when I was younger. I gave her my company and then she didn’t talk to me much after that,” Tony handed her a juice pop. “Now go watch TV or whatever kids your age do, and mind your manners; can’t have you turning out like your mum.”

Morgan noticed a few things about her dad after that.

Sometimes her dad wouldn’t do much but stare at the magical swirly photos that you can touch but they don't feel like anything. They move with your hand sometimes if you ask them to and it’s like magic! Morgan really enjoyed playing with the beams of light and making cool designs, but then her mother would take her away and say that her dad had a job to do. She always asked what it was, but Tony just smiled sadly and said that it was a secret.

So at night after she got tucked into bed after listening to Spider-Man stories, she snuck down to sit at the bottom stair. She knew that if she was super, super quiet, then he wouldn’t notice because he was always wrapped up in his work. She’d done this before, many times, and every time the blue lights would have a red light after running something called a ‘simulation’. Her dad would then swirl some things around, run the simulation again, but the results would be the same; a red box that flashed with an x. Morgan couldn’t quite read what it said yet, but from her dad’s reactions, she guessed that it wasn’t all too great for his job. Sometimes he’d get mad and huff angrily at the lights, or sometimes he would stare at the lights for so long that Morgan got bored and went back up to bed.

Tonight was different, though. Tony had to leave before finishing the story arc again, saying that she asked too many questions and that he was postponing story time until she stopped interrupting him. She shut up quickly, but he said that he had some work to do and goodnight, Morgan, I love you. Morgan didn’t really think that was fair, so she decided to go sneak downstairs and watch him work for a little while before actually hitting the hay. What Tony didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.

So Tony ran the simulation for the third time that night, and the red letters showed up with the X as usual. But this time he waved his hand so that the simulation would go away, and then he slumped back into the chair, and stayed there for a bit. Morgan was deathly silent.

Then his shoulders started to shake, and the sniffles started, and he pinched the bridge of his nose. Morgan used her ninja/spy skills to sneak back upstairs as quietly as possible, because the Lord knew that if her father caught her while she was watching him cry, he would offer her five million juice pops and stay up even later than necessary, as if to make up for the moment of weakness. Morgan didn’t want that, because it took up energy from her already-tired dad, because she wanted to be a good kid.

And good kids don’t make things difficult for their parents.

\--

Sometimes her dad would stay in bed forever. Mum would tell her not to bother him too much because he stayed up late working and was tired (Morgan knew that was a lie because she had heard him go up to bed right after he had tucked her in). So she grabbed her toys and went to go play in her parents’ room for a while, until her mom would pick her up and tell her to leave Daddy alone, he’s resting, what did I tell you? But she knew that her dad didn’t mind that she was there; sure, he never said anything, but he never complained, either.

She usually grabbed her Spider-Man toy, her Hulk toy, her Captain America toy and Iron Man toy (when Tony had told her that he was Iron Man a long time ago when he had a good back and was young and dandy, she had started jumping all over the furniture with excitement until they managed to coax her into sitting down so they could feed her- Pepper refused to talk to Tony for a few hours after that), to play in the blankets with her. Tony’s body, usually curled up in a fetal position, was the mountains that they went to visit frequently and jump off to fight the bad guys (little toy green army men made out of plastic). She narrated the story to Tony, even if he didn’t respond. They fought the bad guys then returned to their mansion (the pillows) to watch a movie together and order pizza and drink juice boxes. 

Mom would come in and take her away before they finished their juice boxes, saying that she should let daddy rest, but Morgan knew that if she didn’t go and play with him then he would be up there for much, much longer than necessary. After she gets hauled away, Tony would come down the stairs about a half-hour later. If she left him alone, Tony would come down a few hours later and be in a mopey mood and only talk about wanting coffee.

The boys at her daycare told her that Iron Man and Captain America fight a lot, and that they wanted to do horrible things like kill each other. Morgan tried the fighting once, making Captain America fight against Iron Man ‘to the death’ she said, quoting some of the boys at school, until her dad told her to stop in his serious voice. Morgan nodded and slipped away quietly, leaving her toys on the bed beside Tony, who didn’t come downstairs for the rest of the day.

She didn’t have much fun with the fighting, anyway.

\--

Morgan started watching the Hulk on TV.

One day, Tony sat her in front of a screen and pulled up a show, asking her with a grin if she recognized the guy. She had proudly exclaimed that it was the Hulk, and Tony had smiled even wider, and he popped popcorn and they watched TV together. It was Dr Bruce Banner, explaining science to the kids, ‘like Bill Nye the Science Guy but for super-hero enthusiasts,’ her dad had explained. Morgan didn’t know who Bill Nye the Science Guy was, but this Hulk person was pretty cool and explained how the world worked, so she’ll stick with the green guy.

Soon, after re-watching the Hulk TV show until she memorized it, she asked if there was any more science she could learn. Tony had immediately perked up and launched into complicated explanations, teaching her everything, and surprisingly, the four-year-old followed. Her parents were beyond impressed with her, and she could explain quantum theory to anyone who asked, launching into a university-level speech. Pepper had looked into enrolling her into the local primary school, just to give her a head-start, but they refused to accept her and she ended up going to a private Montessori. 

Tony’s favourite moments were definitely talking science with his kid of a lab partner, and taught her the ins and outs of circuitry, and the ‘Don’t touch this, the current is going to pass right through your body and you’ll get hurt. Got it?’ Pepper was reluctant, but Tony was definitely looking better than he had been, and smiled so much more than he had before, so she let them work together under the agreement that if either of them get injured, it’s over. 

Whenever Morgan got a question right, Tony would exclaim in robust praise, “Amazing! A hundred percent! You’ve just graduated summa cum laude from the most prestigious ivy-league academy!” and that would always make Morgan laugh, which encouraged Tony more. Soon he was making up doctorates and Latin honours (such as graduating with marks higher than Albert Einstein, that’s an actual achievement, look it says on your diploma), and Morgan Stark, in Tony’s eyes, was the most smartest and brightest kid ever, and also the most decorated doctor with many invisible certificates and diplomas hung up on her office’s (her outdoor tent) walls. 

“You know the great big green guy on TV?” Tony asked one day, watching her play with the blue holograms. 

“Hulk?”

“Yeah. Well, he’s one of my old friends, so I was wondering if you’d like to meet him,” Tony offered, shrugging. “He’s in town. Staying at my old workplace.”

“Hulk?” Morgan asked again, this time in bewilderment. 

“Yeah. You wanna say hi to him, honey?” Tony grinned at her excitement.

“Yeah! I can teach him about quantum physics!” she abandoned her hologram project and pulled on her dad’s hand. “Let’s go!”

“Tomorrow,” Tony promised, laughing at her enthusiasm. “And I’m sure he already knows about that, Brucie’s a scientist after all.”

“Why doesn’t he teach it on the show?” she pouted, still pulling on Tony’s hand. 

“That’s because he has to make it less smart for the other kids. They’re all going to fail school. But you-,” he poked her chest and she giggled. “You are going to graduate with maxima cum laude.”

So the next day, Pepper sent them both on their way with a packet of goldfish for snacking and three juice boxes (two for Morgan, one for Tony), and Morgan was opening and closing the cup holders over and over on her booster seat out of anticipation. 

“I’m going to meet a TV star!” 

“I was pretty famous back in my day too,” Tony argued. “In the news everywhere.”

“Why not any more?”

“Past my prime,” Tony shrugged. “Nobody cares about the old grandpa anymore.”

“I care,” Morgan said, kicking her feet against the back of Tony’s car seat.

Tony smiled at her in the rear-view mirror. He was still making headlines every once in awhile, but it was nice to have a break from the media. Nobody was knocking on his door, demanding a word. Nobody was yelling at him because of some incident seven years ago. Nobody even cared anymore, there were more things to worry about, but it was nice to be able to actually go out in public without Tony worrying about whether somebody would blow him up or hunt him down or stalk him home and burn down his house with Morgan and Pepper in it. That was his worst fear for a while, and the only way the world knew that he even had a daughter was the one time he announced he was going on maternity leave for an undisclosed amount of time. As far as the world was concerned, he was still on maternity leave. 

“You know, Grandpa Stark, my father, also made the news quite a bit. You’re famous, kiddo, you just don’t know it,” Tony said, deciding now was a good time as ever to break the news to her that she came from a line of geniuses. 

“That’s not true!” Morgan said. “Nobody asked me for an autobraph.”

“It’s pronounced autograph, honey,” Tony smiled, turning into the parking garage of the compound. “And it’s hard to ask you to sign your name when you barely know how to spell it.”

Morgan pouted and kicked Tony’s car seat with more force than necessary.

When they piled out of the car and Tony brought her into the compound, carrying her on his hip, she couldn’t stop looking around the giant building and at all of the cool things. The last time she’d been here, she’d been only a few months old; Tony was trying to distance himself from the Avengers for the time being, and came to say goodbye to the few that remained. They all fell in love with the tiny four-month-old who did nothing but cry and sleep, and Tony knew he’d miss the team.

“Hey, Nat. Long time no see.”

“Is that Morgan? She’s so big,” Natasha grinned, walking over to the two. Tony kissed her on both of her cheeks while Morgan hid behind her dad’s head, being shy.

“Say hi to Natasha, Morgan,” Tony instructed his daughter, poking her stomach, and Morgan eyed Nat reluctantly once she pulled away.

“Hi,” she said quietly, still holding herself closely to her father.

“Last time I saw you, you were tiny,” Natasha cooed. “How old are you now?”

“Four and one month,” Morgan exclaimed proudly, holding up four fingers on her right hand, and one on her left.

“Four and one month! You’re so big!” Natasha laughed. “You’re almost as old as your dad, here.”

“Daddy’s a grandpa. He’s over twenty years old,” Morgan smirked, glancing at her dad. Tony stuck his tongue out at her, tickling her slightly.

“And how old do you think I am?” Nat asked, winking at Tony.

“Sixteen!” Morgan answered. 

“I wish,” Nat grinned, then looked up to meet Tony’s eyes. “Cap is unfortunately away with Bucky and Sam, and everybody else is taking care of other things. Just me and Brucie at the moment,” she said, her tone of voice changing from playful to serious. Morgan knew this was a grown-up conversation now.

“He in the lab?” Tony asked, turning away from Nat, really not wanting to go into that conversation. Morgan could tell and rested her head in the crook of his neck, feeling his stubble scratch her cheek in a comforting way.

“Yeah.”

Tony started walking, but Natasha stopped him before he reached the elevator.

“It’s really nice to see you, Tony,” she said, a sad look on her face. “You’re doing well?”

“I’ve been better,” he answered. “But it’s nice to see you, too.”

He pressed the button for the elevator and he stepped in after the doors opened immediately, and Natasha was blocked from view.

“Who’s she?” Morgan asked, once the doors slid closed.

“Don’t ask questions,” Tony answered, suddenly seeming ten years older. A great-grandpa. Thirty years old.

When Tony introduced her to the Hulk, it was so much less tense. There was no difference between the grown-up voice and talking-to-kid voice, and her dad seemed happy, smiling whenever Morgan said something smart. Dr Banner, in his very large and green form, turned to Tony impressed after every pause in Morgan’s train of thought. He seemed surprised that this four-year-old (and one month) had managed to retain and understand so much information; it rivaled that of a twelfth-grader.

“...but you still haven’t covered quarks or circuitry or aeronautics or the quantum theories,” Morgan said, finishing her speech, sitting on the floor while playing with a screwdriver. “Daddy explained it all to me. Which means you have to explain it to the kids or else they’re going to fail school.”

“Oh really? All of them?” Dr Banner said, raising an eyebrow and smiling even wider, elbowing Tony with more force than he usually would.

“That’s what daddy said. That they’re going to fail and I got a PHD in thermonuclear sciences and graduated with honours.” Morgan said proudly. “They’re framed. On my office walls.”

“She’s just like you,” Dr Banner said, turning to Tony in marvel.

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” Tony said, smiling down at Morgan with a twinkle in his eyes.

\--

Morgan took after her dad. She was smart, she could read people and know how to react, and she always knew when she should pretend to be asleep and when she shouldn’t.

Tony, every once in a while, would crack Morgan’s door open in the middle of the night. If he was breathing heavily and sweating and teary, then she would pretend to be asleep. If he was breathing normally and not teary, then she would open her eyes and stare back at Tony, his eyes going from relieved to ‘why the heck aren’t you asleep young lady’. And she didn’t know why she was always awake for his nightmares, because for some reason, as soon she opened her eyes to roll over and sleep on her other side, the door would open and her dad would peek in. 

One night at around two in the morning she had opened her eyes to pull the blankets back up (she had kicked them off while sleeping), and her dad walked in. She didn’t have time to pretend to be asleep, so she stared at him like a deer in the headlights, while Tony held his breath for a few seconds to get himself together. His expression melted back into something gentler, and he walked over to pick her and and balanced her on his hip. She sleepily buried her head into the crook of his neck, not caring if he was sweaty and hot and gross.

“Why you up, little miss?” Tony asked, his voice gruff, rubbing her back.

“Why you up?” she said instead, closing her eyes..

“That’s not how it works. When you’re a grown up, you can stay up however late you want,” he said, sitting down on the bed with her still in his arms.

“Mummy said that grown-ups still need sleep,” Morgan argued, drowsily. She was falling asleep quickly.

“Well, maybe your mum needs sleep. But I don’t. I’m special,” he continued to rub soft circles on her back.

“You go to sleep.”

Tony smiled and kissed her head. “Sleeping, huh? Is it as great as everyone says it is?”

“Yeah,” Morgan said plainly, too sleepy to elaborate.

“I should try it sometime,” he gave her a tight squeeze.

The next thing Morgan knew, there was sunlight streaming through the blinds, and her dad was leaning on the headboard, still cradling his daughter gently in his arms. He was fast asleep. 

She didn’t dare move; she stayed there until Tony woke up, counting the beats of his heart and comparing it to her own.

One night Morgan had a nightmare; it wasn’t anything triggered by anything, just a nightmare. But there were large dogs chasing after Morgan and her dad and mum in the forest and Spider-Man was there and doing his best to stop the dogs with his webs but it wasn’t working and he got dragged down and Spider-Man got crushed under the stampede of dogs, never to be seen again. Her dad gave her to Pepper and told her to run while the iron man suit appeared, but both were also dragged down by the dogs, and her mom was screaming as she told her to run, and Morgan ran, not turning around to see the dogs take her mom, but she knew it was happening.

Morgan woke up screaming once the dogs caught up to her. She could still feel the phantom pain in her leg where the big grey dog had bitten her, dragging her under to become a meal for the rest of the pack.

Her dad’s ashen face appeared in the doorway, breathing heavily and gripping onto the door frame. He picked Morgan up and squeezed her tight, kissing her forehead. Pepper stood in the doorway, her face also white, but significantly less distressed than Tony was. She smiled softly when Morgan’s teary eyes met hers, reassuring her.

“Just a nightmare,” Tony whispered, cradling Morgan’s small frame as she cried softly, patting her back gently.

“There were dogs and then Spider-Man and you and mummy got taken and then I did because I wasn’t fast enough,” she sobbed, hiding her face in her dad’s shoulder. 

“You’re alright,” he soothed, glancing at Pepper with worried eyes. “It wasn’t real.”

Morgan nodded fervently, knowing that it wasn’t, but a part of her brain wouldn’t let go. She didn’t ever want to see her dad go under. She didn’t want to see anyone go under. And she wanted Spider-Man to finally come home because then everyone would be happy and she didn’t have to worry about the dogs taking everyone because they would all be right there, in her house, happy and smiling and together. She wanted everyone together.

She slept in her parents’ bed that night. Every time she so much moved, her dad would glance over to make sure she was alright.

She didn’t think her dad slept at all.

\--

Her mum sat her down one day while Tony was away at work, and explained a few things. She said that her dad was sad, and that was why he sometimes couldn’t finish her bedtime stories, and why sometimes he woke up in the middle of the night and went to check on her, and why he stayed up late at night working when he should be sleeping. 

“It makes me sad when he is sad,” Morgan said, finally.

“I know, sweetie, it makes me sad too,” Pepper frowned, running her hand through Morgan’s hair. “He misses someone very dearly, so we have to make sure he always has someone with him so that he misses that person less.”

Her dad came in for a bedtime story later that night, and before he even started, Morgan sat up and asked, “Is it Spider-Man that you miss too much?” 

“What?” he asked, startled.

“You never give him an ending story,” she picked at a loose thread in her quilt.

“I- yeah. Yeah, I miss Spider-Man a lot,” Tony surrendered. “Where’d you learn that?”

“Mummy.”

“What else did mummy tell you?”

“She told me that sometimes you have bad dreams. She told me that you take medicine like Advil like I do when I have a fever. She told me that you miss someone a lot and that we have to stay with you so that you miss that person less,” Morgan admitted, with the naivety of one her age. “You talk about Spider-Man a lot.”

Tony was silent for a bit, and Morgan could tell that his eyes were wet and his nose was sniffly and she felt kind of sorry for making him cry because she was supposed to make him not sad, and now he’s sad, so she failed.

“You know why Spider-Man doesn’t have an ending story?” Tony asked finally, after a couple of short breaths which were clearly an attempt at calming himself down.

“Why?”

“Because he’s not allowed to end,” he said defiantly, like a child who was convinced he was right. “He always has his powers. He always swings around and stops the bad guys. He doesn’t know when to stop.”

“Like with the ferry?”

“Just like with the ferry. He just wanted to impress Iron Man.”

“He got hurt.”

“Yeah. Almost.”

“And the plane?”

“Same with the plane. He was just trying to help. He was always-” Tony cut himself off, his breath catching. “Always trying to help.”

“Are you okay?” Morgan asked carefully. She looked up at his face, with his blotchy eyes and nose, and wondered how he was going to lie his way out of this one.

“I’m just tired. I think I’m going to try this sleeping business that you speak of,” he stood up, groaning when his knees cracked. “Goodnight, Morgana.”

“What about a bedtime story?”

“Tomorrow night, honey. I love you,” he answered with a shaking voice, his back already turned and a hand on the doorknob.

“I love you, daddy,” Morgan said, knowing that he was barely holding himself together. The lights turned off and she fell against her pillows, feeling a bit guilty. 

Her mum came in about ten minutes after, asking what they had talked about. She looked worried, her eyebrows knitted together and her eyes were all squinty and questioning. 

“Spider-Man,” Morgan answered tentatively, afraid that she would get into trouble with Pepper for mentioning the sensitive subject around her dad.

She just nodded with her lips pursed and sat down at the end of the bed, and Morgan sat up against her pillows, awaiting a conversation or a talking-to or whatever, but Pepper didn’t have her scolding face on. She just looked sad, in fact, maybe a tiny bit sorry. Unlike her dad who was full of expressions that Morgan hadn’t quite learned yet and that weren’t on the facial chart at school, her mom was easier to read. Happy. Sad. Sorry. Worried. Loving. Angry. But lately, the Sad, Sorry and Worried expressions seemed to appear more often.

“Your dad and I are going to go away on a vacation for a bit,” Pepper said softly. 

“But Christmas!” Morgan protested.

“We’ll be back before then, don’t worry,” she smiled, but her eyes were still sorry.

There were also the mix of emotions that her mom and dad used. Sometimes their faces would show happy, sometimes sad, but their eyes would be showing something else, sometimes even the opposite emotion. Smiling when their eyes showed sad. Mouth frowning when their eyes looked loving. Eyes worried when their mouth and eyebrows showed angry. It was all too confusing, and even then, there were still expressions that Morgan hasn’t figured out yet.

“Where are you going?” she asked.

“To Malibu. Uncle Rhodey will take care of you. You remember him,” Pepper informed her, reaching a hand up to brush Morgan’s hair out of her face.

“Daddy always goes away in December,” Morgan accused.

“I know. Last year I went with him to Florida and Uncle Happy stayed with you. It’s just, around this date, he gets upset a lot, and he has to take a break,” Pepper said, her face going back to sorry and worried.

“Same with in May?”

“Yeah. He’s, yeah,” Pepper said, biting her lip. “But you always have a fun time with Uncle Rhodey.”

“I don’t remember him,” Morgan admitted.

“You will. You loved him, last time you were over,” Pepper smiled softly, but her eyes still showed sorry and worried. She stood up and kissed the top of her head. “You should get some rest. I love you, Morgan.”

“I love you too,” Morgan grinned up at her mom.

The four days that Uncle Rhodey came over, they went Christmas shopping, made Christmas cookies, and played in the snow a bit. She warmed up to him after the first couple hours, yammering away about science and bragging about how she met the Hulk while he pretended to be impressed, and they watched TV together and she showed him her office outside and they played school together. 

But once the sun set and Rhodey tucked her in bed after a cup of hot chocolate, she was suddenly aware of how empty the house was. She missed the bedtime stories, even if sometimes they weren’t stories, just banter, and she just missed her dad. She missed the gruffness of his goatee as he kissed her goodnight, and she missed her mom making fun of her dad, and she missed her mom’s cooking. They had Kraft Dinner that night because Uncle Rhodey couldn’t cook all too well, or so he claimed. She also didn’t have her nightly juice-pop, because she was too shy to ask for one and Uncle Rhodey didn’t know. 

She turned to watch the numbers on her digital clock change, but soon twenty minutes had passed so she gave up and crept downstairs.

Uncle Rhodey was sitting in the spot that her dad usually sat, making a phone call. She sat down on the stairs to wait until he was done.

“Yeah, she was real good. We had Kraft Dinner, watched TV, and we’re going out shopping tomorrow. You never would’ve guessed she was your kid, Tones, she’s so well-behaved,” Rhodey said, grinning. 

She couldn’t hear the response, but from the laughing coming from Uncle Rhodey, it had to have been funny.

“Sound asleep, don’t you worry about a thing. We’ve got this under control, Morgan and I,” Rhodey stood up and turned around, raising an eyebrow when he caught Morgan’s eye. “Hold on. Sound asleep my foot, your girl’s spying on me.”

Rhodey put the phone on speaker, and picked up Morgan, balancing her on his right hip. “Do you wanna say hi to your old man?”

“Hey Morgan, why are you up, young lady?” Tony’s voice rang from the phone. “It’s past your bedtime.”

“I miss you,” she responded. Clutching onto Rhodey’s shirt.

“I miss you too, honey,” Tony said. “But it’s bedtime! You should be dreaming of me and you galloping on unicorns or whatever kids your age dream about.”

“I couldn’t sleep,” she giggled at Tony’s joke.

“You and me both, kid. But just because your folks aren’t there doesn’t mean you can stay up late partying, Rhodey, what are you teaching my daughter?” Tony accused jokingly. 

“What can I say, she takes after you,” Uncle Rhodey winked at Morgan. “Come on, let’s get you to bed, and then your dear-old-dad can stop worrying about getting more grey hairs.” 

“I resent that,” Tony said.

“Sure you do. I’ll call you later, ‘kay, Tones?” Rhodey’s finger hovered above the ‘end call’ button.

“For sure. Love you, Morgan.”

“Love you!” Morgan called into the phone before Rhodey pressed the button, and the call ended. He carried her back up the stairs and tucked her in again, saying that he’ll see her in the morning, and that if she needed anything, just knock on the guest bedroom door.

She ended up sleeping in his bed for all of the three nights that her parents were gone.

\--

One night in April, her dad put her to bed, sighing. She had snuck down to his work the other night and saw the lights light up in red but with a different word, not the usual word that made her dad sad. The simulation was successful, whatever that meant.

After the usual bedtime story with Spider-Man, her dad kissed her forehead. “Daddy’s gotta go for a while, alright, honey? I have work.”

“Where you going?”

“To see some of my old friends. Do you remember the people who showed up a few days ago? They asked something of me, and now I have to help them before they try something stupid,” Tony answered as if it was their fault that he had to leave.

“You said the s-word!” Morgan laughed accusingly.

“Oh, golly gosh. Whatever will I do?” Tony smiled softly and ruffled her hair. “I might not be back for a while, alright? I don’t know what’s going to happen.”

“But you’ll come back?”

“For you? Always,” Tony smiled sadly at her, not quite believing his own words. “I love you, Morgana. Nothing will change that.”

Tony stood up and was about to turn off the light, but Morgan stopped him with a question.

“Are you happy, daddy?”

“Let’s think. I’ve got your mum, I’ve got a nice, retired life in a big home, and I’ve got the greatest, smartest, and most insufferable daughter ever who never seems to have anything but juice pops on her mind,” he trailed off, and Morgan was happy to see that there were no tears in his eyes this time, that he didn’t try to deflect the question like he usually did. “I’m happy, Morgan. What about you?”

“I love you,” Morgan said, wrapping her arms around her dad’s neck, and he put her hands on her small back. 

“I love you too, kiddo. Now go back to bed,” Tony pushed her face onto the pillows.

“I’m hungry,” Morgan complained, lifting her head slightly off of the pillow.

“Hi, hungry. I’m dad,” Tony grinned evilly.

“Daddy,” she drew out, but smiled at the joke. “That’s not how it works.”

“It is for me. I’m a dad,” he bent over and kissed her forehead. “I’ll be gone in the morning before you wake up. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

But her dad never came back.

The wizard with the same beard as her dad came to get Morgan’s mom. That was the first time that she’d seen her mom in an Iron Man suit, the first time she’d seen her with the blue helmet. She hugged Morgan goodbye, and get this; she flew away. Uncle Happy came over to babysit, and that was all that she talked about. Her mom could fly!

But then her mom came back, covered in dust and dirt and blood, even, already crying before she reached the ground. The suit dismantled and Morgan ran forward, finding her arms, and Pepper wouldn’t stop crying, which made Morgan cry, even though she wasn’t exactly sure why they were crying. She kept asking for her dad but her mom kept shaking her head and eventually Uncle Happy had to take Morgan away so that her mom could “take a nice long bath and crawl under the covers for a few days, how does that sound?”

And then Happy sat Morgan down and explained to her that her father wasn’t coming home. Morgan frowned, telling Happy that no, her dad had promised he’d be back. You can’t just break promises like that.

And then Happy started crying.

About a week later, Morgan finally met Spider-Man. She was confused at first, because where had he been all this time? Why was he looking at her like that, with the sad eyes and the sad face? And her great-uncle had come back, apparently he had gotten ‘blipped?’ Like Spider-Man, Pepper told her. They had all gotten blipped, and Tony Stark had saved them all, sacrificing himself, whatever the word sacrificing meant.

She didn’t understand why everyone was so sad. Her dad promised he’d be back.

Through the recorded message of her dad talking, she knew that something was wrong, because her dad kept talking about death, and that wasn’t good. But that wasn’t her dad. That was a recording. It had to be lying. Everyone had to be lying, there was no way that Tony wasn’t coming back, he’d promised.

And if he could make all of the other people come back, like Spider-Man and her neighbour’s mom and Great-Uncle Morgan, then he would come back, right?

She just had to wait.


End file.
